Paris du Jour: Waiting is the hardest part

Living with the knowledge that we're probably going to Paris for an extended period of time, but having absolutely no information on how it is all to come about is, well, it's driving me crazy. Notice I said probably going to Paris. I suppose there is a 99.37% chance that we're going. But that means there's a 0.63% chance that we're not. Or that I'm not and Ron is. My brain won't stop working it and massaging it and turning it over and placing it here and then moving it over there and then burying it like a bone, to be dug up and enjoyed later.

On the one hand, I'm so incredibly excited that I can hardly contain myself. On the other hand, I'm so afraid of the 0.63% chance that I try to keep it in check and remind myself of that 0.63% and console myself that if it doesn't happen, well, then, probable was pretty darn close, 99.37% close and maybe the next time will be for real.

Ron and I are at times giddy (We're going to Paris!) and at times overwhelmed (Oh my god. We're going to Paris. What do we do about _____???). But this break for the holidays means all we can do is wonder, cogitate, dream, ponder and make lists. Oh lordy, we're good at making lists. The lists are on scraps of paper we dug out of my purse while at Costco, they're on pads of paper from the office, they're on the backs of napkins from the Chinese restaurant and one or two of them have made their way to a Word document.

We have lots of thoughts and ideas but are frozen to inaction. What if, in this week while everyone is holidaying, someone isn't holidaying and changing their mind? What if someone, in a moment of relaxed clarity says, "What were we thinking? We can't let Ron go to Paris!" What if the project gets canceled before Ron gets there? What if someone up the flagpole says, "No way! Putting someone on the ground in Paris is NOT in the budget." That 0.63% is nagging at us, picking away at us so that every time we have a few minutes to think about what we should be doing to get ready, we stop. How does one get ready for probable? How much effort does one put into probable?

We are determined to enjoy the time off, enjoy our Lodge since we may not see if for six months or so and we are determined to try to relax during this week of no work. Next week may be a very different story.